Written by: Milica Bokšan
Serbian family traditions are one of the most important parts of people’s lives in Serbia.
The family (porodica in Serbian) is a highly valued category. So, you will often hear the saying Krv nije voda (= Blood is not water) which means that family relationships are unbreakable.
For Serbs, it is very important to preserve good relations in the family, not only the immediate family but also the wider one. For example, if you’ve ever attended a Serbian wedding, you’ve probably seen that they count a few hundred guests each!
But, let’s go step by step.
Who is who in the Serbian family?
There are many names for cousins in Serbian, so here we’ll cover only the closest ones. They are:
Mama (= Mom)
Tata (= Dad)
Sin (= Son)
Ćerka (= Daughter)
Baba (= Grandmother)
Baka (= Grandma)
Deda (= Grandfather)
Deka (= Grandpa)
If mom or dad has a sister, she is tetka (= Aunt) to the children, and her husband is teča (= Uncle).
If dad has a brother, he is stric (= Uncle) and his wife is strina (= Aunt).
If mom has a brother, he is ujak (=Uncle) and his wife is ujna (=Aunt).
Yes, we have 3 different words in Serbian for uncle and aunt. And it’s super important to know the difference between them!
And their children? Here it gets a bit complicated!
In Serbia, we say brat (brother) or sestra (sister) od tetke/ujaka/strica. This means male/female cousin, the son/daughter of uncle/aunt. That’s why this is a common question in Serbia: Da li je to tvoj rođeni brat/tvoja rođena sestra? (Is that your birth brother/sister?), because people are often unsure when someone says Ovo je moj brat/moja sestra. (This is my brother/sister), as it can mean both birth brother/sister or a cousin. Super confusing, we know!
On the other hand, in Bosnia and Herzegovina, they keep it simple and use rođak/rodica (cousin), without any overcomplication!
And what about the children of your own brother or sister? You will probably need some of these words:
Bratanac – brother’s son (if you’re a woman)
Bratanica – brother’s daughter (if you’re a woman)
Sinovac – brother’s son (if you’re a man)
Sinovica – brother’s daughter (if you’re a man)
Sestrić – sister’s son
Sestričina – sister’s daughter
Family relations in Serbian are quite complex! Just pick those you need the most and learn them.
Okay, that being said, we can start with Serbian family traditions!
Serbian Family Traditions: The Multigeneration Home
In Serbia, it is not uncommon for children to continue living in their family home even when they become parents themselves.
However, this practice was more common in earlier decades than it is now. Today, more and more young people decide to base their lives in a separate home. Of course, grandparents still have a big role and are often the first helpers when it comes to looking after children, that is, grandchildren (in Serbian: unuci).
There is a saying in Serbia – Potrebno je celo selo da se vaspita dete (= It takes a whole village to raise a child). This means that not only the parents participate in the child’s upbringing (although they do have a primary role in it), but also other family members.
But, when do young people in Serbia leave their parents’ homes?
Although today more and more young people decide to start their family outside their parents’ home, they do so only at the age of 30 or a bit earlier.
By comparison, young people in Sweden leave their parents’ home on average at the age of 19.
The key reason why young people in Serbia move away only at the age of 30 is a lack of money.
They can finish college at the earliest at the age of 23, and only after that can they start looking for a job. But, it is not so easy to start a career and earn enough money, because real estate prices are on the constant rise.
Another reason that should not be ignored is that it is easier to share tasks such as cooking, ironing, cleaning, etc. with the rest of the family. 🙂
And by the way, even advertisers used the multigenerational home phenomenon for their advertising campaigns.
On the other hand, children who live in the countryside (or in a city other than the one where they want to study) leave their parents’ house earlier and move to student dormitories or rent out apartments where they live with roommates.
Serbian Family Traditions: Holidays
In Serbia, holidays are given great importance. Whoever is lucky enough to have family close to him, chooses to celebrate Božić (= Christmas) and Uskrs (= Easter) with his family.
Of course, many Serbs from the diaspora also return home during the holidays. It is customary to prepare lunch and gather all family members making wonderful moments to remember.
The youngest also get gifts (maybe the older ones too, if they are lucky).
At Christmas and New Year, gifts are placed under the Christmas tree, while at Easter, they are hidden in the garden.
Easter gift hunting is fun for the whole family!
Serbian Family Traditions: Slava
Did we already say that Serbs love holidays? 🙂
Slava is a family holiday and another important occasion for gatherings. Besides immediate family members, other relatives, godparents and close friends also gather.
Before lunch begins, there are some important celebratory customs. The closest family stand in a circle, takes Slavski kolač or Pogača, and spins it slowly while someone from the family recites the Lord’s Prayer called Oče naš (Our Lord).
Pogača is then poured with red wine and broken into pieces, after which it is served to the guests with the lunch.
Slava is a highly valued custom in Serbia and is passed down through the generations from father to son.
Serbian Family Traditions: Weddings
Serbian weddings, as we mentioned, are usually large gatherings with several hundred guests (100-350).
However, big weddings are not everyone’s choice, as some newlyweds opt for more modest gatherings. The only problem is that it’s hard to not offend someone who wasn’t invited. 🙂
Most Serbian weddings start early in the morning and all family members gather at the homes of the newlyweds. Other guests arrive slowly before the wedding ceremony begins.
Afterwards, it’s time for a big celebration, which usually takes place in some huge restaurant.
Serbian Family Traditions: Kumstvo
A Serbian folk song says Bog je na nebu, na zemlji kum (= God is in heaven, Godfather is on earth.) Although this is excessive, it still speaks of how important kumstvo is in Serbia.
The best man is chosen not only for the wedding but also for krštenje (= baptism) of the child. These are two extremely important events in the Serbian tradition so that the godfather or godmother becomes like a family member.
The godfather is almost always someone who has been a close friend for many years. That friendship is further strengthened by making someone a godfather or a godmother.
In Serbian, the word for the best man and the godfather are the same, which is kum, whereas the maid of honor and the godmother are kuma.
Serbian Family Traditions: Baby Comings
There’s no greater reason to celebrate than a baby’s arrival!
When a couple finds out that they are expecting a baby, they first tell their closest family. Then the news spreads and congratulations come from all over.
Gender reveals have also been organized in Serbia recently, although this practice is still not as popular as in the USA.
Another custom is a celebration of the child’s birth. As soon as the baby is born, a day or two later, the father and the family organize a big celebration. Of course, the baby and mom are still not attending this event, because they are resting and recuperating. And the father? He gets drunk with his friends, and they end up tearing multiple shirts off him!
And a baby shower?
It can be said that what is a baby shower in the West, in Serbia there are babine.
Instead of a large female gathering before the baby is born and giving gifts, in Serbia, people come to see the baby 40 days after the birth and then bring gifts.
The closest family members are the first to visit, followed by other relatives and friends.
In the Balkans, it is actually considered a bad luck to give gifts before the baby is born, so make sure to save them for babine!
Conclusion
As you can see, family gatherings in Serbia are very important.
You probably know that Serbs are considered to be one of the most hospitable nations. Obviously, they learn this from a young age.
Certainly, not all Serbs are always in favour of large gatherings and crowds, some choose to be only with their closest relatives.
However, if family members are on good terms, the closest family plays a large role in the life of every individual in Serbia.
If you want to find out more about Serbian culture, and customs and above all, learn the Serbian language, you’re in the right place. Choose the best solution for you and learn Serbian fast!
